My songs courtesy of Reverbnation

Introduction Post-It's all about the music

Hi everyone, I want to welcome you to the inner workings of me and my brain. I was just thinking about how amazing life is and where it can take you. The things you can do, when you really put your mind and hard work into something you believe in.  I understand it very clearly. I am a singer and songwriter. That’s my dream. Interesting vision for someone who, admittedly, shuns the spotlight.  It is so difficult at times to face people. I feel like I don't fit in. I've been hiding in a cave. My own cave, sealed with my mind that I roll up and down a hill of peace and tranquility but don't have the strength to keep it in the " up there" part for very long.  It Turns out my mind would be my Sisyphean stone.

I love music and what it does to me. I feel it more than just listen to it and it’s been in my life since as far back as I can remember. My parents played and danced and sang all the time. It's just what we do. Now I hear music differently. It allows me to escape. It allows my thoughts be carried along the melody line and drift into the nooks and cranny's that most people glaze over. I analyze every note and try to figure out why it was placed right there. What emotion was the song writer trying to evoke? Why go to the Am and not the C? Why does that sound so damn good. Why, why, why? It fascinates me how people can be provoked or soothed by sounds. 

A lot of the men in the town worked  just west of Pittsburgh, PA ,in a mill called Crucible Steel.  Either that or you went to Vietnam. Those guys were the town hero's and I wanted to be one of them. When the steel mills shutdown in the 80's ( it's time to que Billy Joel) my family turned to spinning records and anything they could to make a buck. Hell, I've sold meatball sandwich's at The Moose Lodge functions, played records at wedding receptions, helped stock a record store my uncle started during my impressionable teens. I helped out how ever I could and learned you never, ever quit. Keep pluggin' along. I also learned that, I needed to get out of there. I took with me the power of music.

 It started when my dad would DJ at many clubs in my hometown of East Liverpool, Ohio. He could get everyone in the place slow dancing, then fast, then slow, then wait for it…nail them with the good one that all the girls asked him to play when they first got there. Bam!  It was so cool to see. He has the gift of feeling out and controlling a room of strangers, giving them what they needed every Friday and Saturday night with music. You know that guy. "Good tunes with a side of good times" in a goin' nowhere kinda town. At least there was music. I listened to everything I could. The Smothers Brothers, Beach Boys, Frank Sinatra, Elvis, Asia (yea- I said Asia), Journey, Boston, Kansas, The Drifters, anything Motown, all the way to Ozzy Osborne, Randy Newman (on 8track), Elton John, James Taylor, Foghat, The Allmen Brothers, Black Sabbath and anything on Pittsburgh's WDVE. But, you have to say it in my native tongue, like, "turn on Dubya Dee Vee Eeee yuns guys!" Spell check is having a fit right now. Times were tough and my family struggled but we made it through. I guess the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree. It just fell and landed differently with me. I would come to play music but first I joined the military. It was really the only way out. It was a decision that would change me for the rest of my life.

After basic training and all that stuff, I went to airborne school. I wanted to be airborne. Those guys were bad ass and I had something to prove. Be careful what you wish for. You just might get it. I ended up in the 82nd Airborne Division just like in that movie, "A Bridge Too Far." I tried to be as bad ass I could. M-60 gunner for a year, team leader, squad leader, Jumpmaster, Deployed to Iraq in 1990-91 with operation Desert Storm. I played drums for awhile in a band called

Me in Operation Desert /Shield Desert Storm 1990-91

Then something happened.  The details are so strange and unbelievable that I sometimes talk to other guys in my squad on Facebook and ask them if shit in my brain really happened. Others call me and ask the same. It's always confirmed by them and me. We just want answers. It was crazy. When I came home, something wasn't right. With my mind or my body. Everything seemed out of control. Nothing made sense but I continued to be high speed and do my job. Then I had a bad parachuting accident. Concussion and a broken jaw. I suffered from post concussion syndrome. I was toxic at that point. Eventually the multitude of health issues got the best of me. I was really sick for years and dealt with it, masked it, really didn't understand it. I was put out of the military on a temporary medical discharge called TDRL.  Three years past and 9-11 happened. I tried to get back in. My country needed all of us. The bad guys are here! That's when the Army I loved and gave my life for,  turned it's back on me in the most cruel way imaginable. The Army decided that I was sick but I had gotten better after I got out for those three years, AND the medical and mental issues that I still had, were somehow created during the time I was out and wasn't due to my military service. . . Let me say that again. The Army says -I was sick. I was on a leave of absence. I returned with the same symptoms and complaints, but those are from something that I got while on the leave of absence...not from the my service originally.  I was released with 0% disability and a compensation. Thank the heavens that the VA saw what was up and fixed it on their side so I can get the help I need. Officially I was honorably discharged under medical conditions. Sucks.

I wrote in journals for years directly after Iraq. Elliot Smith taught me that. He blew my mind. I saw him at a party once, play an acoustic guitar and sing a beautiful song, then smash that guitar to a million pieces and sit down like nothing happened. He was in Iraq too. He disappeared for awhile. I found him again on Myspace and we've kept in touch for years. When I saw him letting out his feelings through music, I new that was my new calling.  I wrote some basic tunes and he asked me to play them as his opening act. I had 5 minutes of notification. New songs never heard before. I played 4 of them and chickened out and ended as early as I could. The tempo of the last song went from 75bpm to at least 120bpm. I couldn't end soon enough. Who cares anyway, it's a Starbucks. I went outside to smoke a cigarette so I didn't have an anxiety attack when two women approached me and asked me if I had a Cd for sale. I told them that I didn't and those weren't even complete songs until tonight. They said oh well, and went about their way. I thought maybe I'm on to something. I can't get the rush from jumping out of planes anymore, but I got an adrenaline rush from that. Sure is a lot safer. People actually liked my songs.  That's it! My new hobby will be writing songs!
 

I’ve met some great musical talents over the years. Rich Cantrill was one of the first. We j and had some really jacked up stuff written down in these notebooks of mine. So I thought I’d combine a few, well placed, chords with some words and then  add some kick ass guitar players around me and see what happens.
Turns out, this happens- 

get it at www.cdbaby.com

Thank you for coming by.

 Craig Hildy

Follow me on twitter @craighildy

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or visit my webpage at www.strumrock.com to find out more.